God made men and women very different. In the Garden of Eden, God created man first — then saw that it wasn’t good for him to be alone. From that moment, He formed woman, not as a copy but as a perfect companion.
And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ – Genesis 2:22-23
The Bible says that a man who finds an honorable wife has found a blessing from the Lord. When a man finds a wife, it stirs something deep within him — a desire to provide, protect, honor, and respect her. God gives men an internal drive to find a godly wife and care for her.
Like a trophy or a prized companion for life, you treasure your wife, placing her on the top shelf for all to see — not as an object, but as a sign of your good fortune and blessing. You take care of her, want nothing to harm her, and are even willing to die for her. Your work and career goals begin to shift from being self-motivated to selfless. The old single-guy desires are replaced with the desire to see her happy and to honor God in the way you treat her.
Part of honoring this covenant love is the man’s desire to make love to his wife. When a man finds his future wife, he naturally considers the blessing of being intimate with her. This desire is not wrong — in fact, it’s often the reason he longs to marry her — to meet the calling and responsibility that comes with being a husband.
However, many men do not want a long courtship because they wrestle with their flesh and attraction to their future mate. Men who are not led by God — who do not know Him — are often led not by love but by lust. They fail to consider the meaning of marriage and the responsibilities that come with it. They focus only on the benefits of having the “trophy,” with no real sense of commitment.
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God. – 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
Unfortunately, men who do not honor or understand the sacredness of marriage before intimacy are focused not on what is good for their partner but on what feels good for themselves. They seek companionship and satisfaction over commitment and miss out on the lifelong blessings that come from waiting until marriage.
The challenge for girls is that they, too, desire a partner. Like men, they were created for companionship — but God made women very different. A woman desires to feel safe, to have someone she can trust, lean on, and love — a true soulmate. These are good and godly desires, but women’s motives are often shaped by the heart, while men are more often driven by what they see.
When a woman tries to make a man happy by giving herself to him before marriage, she seldom considers the outcome — only that this act might show her love and make him stay. The problem is that when a man receives the sacred part of a woman without the covenant of marriage, he often treats it casually — like being handed a loaner car he can drive without responsibility, only to trade it in for a newer model later. Once the car has a few miles, dents, and worn tires, it’s turned in. Men who can “drive the car for free” rarely work hard to buy one and seldom value it when they do.
What many men fail to understand is that women are far more valuable than the world makes them seem. God created women to be a blessing — not something to conquer or consume, but someone to honor and cherish. A godly woman is a gift from the Lord, and her worth is far greater than anything money or status can buy.
When a man treats what is sacred as common, he cheapens not only the woman but also himself. Scripture warns against casting pearls before swine — taking something holy and using it carelessly. In the same way, when a man seeks pleasure without covenant, he tramples on something God designed to be treasured.
A real man understands that purity, respect, and patience aren’t signs of weakness — they’re marks of strength and discipline. Honor the women in your life as God’s daughters, not as trophies for your ego. Wait for the woman God has prepared, and when you find her, cherish her as the gift she is. “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” — Proverbs 31:10
Have a great weekend,
Stephen L. Thomas, RTM